Imaginary Signposts

Define simple.

- easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty.
- used to emphasize the fundamental and straightforward nature of something.
- composed of a single element; not compound.
- of or characteristic of low rank or status; humble and unpretentious.
- of low or abnormally low intelligence.
(Definitions taken from a Google search)

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I was once posed a question similar to the following: "Would you prefer to be simple but happy, or intelligent but miserable?" Being intelligent is usually thought of as a blessing. Your capabilities are greater. You grasp complex ideas more easily, more quickly. You struggle less and people tell you you'll do well in the future. The comparison group, implicitly defined by opposition, takes on the opposite talents and prospects. Strange then, to be asked to consider happiness as the price of intelligence.

I was once asked whether it is better to be calculating or to be genuine. More precisely, the question was whether recognizing how one's choices benefit oneself, even after the fact, is an indicator of selfishness. In this question I heard a familiar confusion and fear of criticism. Can friendship or any other close relationship marked by trust coexist with calculation? The alternative, to be unaware of one's own interests, seems on the one hand to be a recipe for personal disaster. On the other hand, it presents a method to express the purest sort of care.

But what about when simplicity just doesn't work? What if you act with the best of intentions, not fully understanding what it is you are doing? Because that could happen if you convince yourself that veiling your eyes and merely suppressing your faults as best you can will leave you blameless...

Some form of intelligence then - emotional intelligence, self-awareness, calculation, what have you - might turn out to be really useful. These are methods to understand ourselves and others, methods which can be practiced and improved on. To reject these tools, recognizing their manipulative nature, in favor of simplicity is mistaken.

I don't think there is any way to completely escape being a potential target of criticism. However, happiness shouldn't depend on escaping from such a danger. This perceived connection merely provides reasons for individuals to turn away from the complexity inherent to the world and toward the alluring ideal, and defense, of purity.

And, with a little mental gymnastics, embracing the tools to deal with complexity could, in the end, be just another form of purity.

Repeating Sunset

For the past few days, I have been treated to a beautiful red sunset on my drive home from work. On the first day, I was particularly captivated; one question repeated itself in my mind: “stop and take a picture?” I didn’t stop. The next day, the question presented itself to me again. “Take a picture?” What if the next one isn’t as beautiful? This image will disappear forever if I don’t capture it…

There’s something appealing about the ephemeral. An attractive opportunity that presents itself as a limited-time offer is more immediately enticing than the same opportunity if it is guaranteed. Desire for things such as beauty and love — how dangerous! There’s more to be got from things which last, we might think.

A moment of kindness, generated by spontaneous compassion. Is that altruism there? Is such a fleeting kindness powerful or beautiful? What about the next person who could use some kindness who you pass by because you are enthralled by an idea of what it means to be genuinely kind? Sure, your moment of kindness can be powerful. But the things which define you as a person cannot be limited to those moments where you are kind while excluding the moments you cannot be bothered.

Haggard eyes. Sleepless nights, unproductive study, a light snoring from nearby. You’ve been taking care that the snoring continues at your own expense, mentally whipping yourself for your moments of weakness when you thought you’d slip away and attend to your own not-quite-as-pressing affairs. You too are held in the sway of an idea — perhaps the righteousness of principles. You too have accomplished, or are in the midst of accomplishing, something powerful with your actions. But your inner turmoil speaks as clearly as your actions, even if only you can hear it.

There’s a funny thing about certainty: it rarely ever lasts. Certainty is a feeling which should be invincible by nature. Ironic how vulnerable it often leaves a person. But there are things which are possible only if one has faith enough to treat the unknowable as if it could be known. Or perhaps I too am captivated by a particular idea.

I didn’t stop to take a picture. I’m still seeing a beautiful sunset each day and I hope my fortune continues.