Repeating Sunset

For the past few days, I have been treated to a beautiful red sunset on my drive home from work. On the first day, I was particularly captivated; one question repeated itself in my mind: “stop and take a picture?” I didn’t stop. The next day, the question presented itself to me again. “Take a picture?” What if the next one isn’t as beautiful? This image will disappear forever if I don’t capture it…

There’s something appealing about the ephemeral. An attractive opportunity that presents itself as a limited-time offer is more immediately enticing than the same opportunity if it is guaranteed. Desire for things such as beauty and love — how dangerous! There’s more to be got from things which last, we might think.

A moment of kindness, generated by spontaneous compassion. Is that altruism there? Is such a fleeting kindness powerful or beautiful? What about the next person who could use some kindness who you pass by because you are enthralled by an idea of what it means to be genuinely kind? Sure, your moment of kindness can be powerful. But the things which define you as a person cannot be limited to those moments where you are kind while excluding the moments you cannot be bothered.

Haggard eyes. Sleepless nights, unproductive study, a light snoring from nearby. You’ve been taking care that the snoring continues at your own expense, mentally whipping yourself for your moments of weakness when you thought you’d slip away and attend to your own not-quite-as-pressing affairs. You too are held in the sway of an idea — perhaps the righteousness of principles. You too have accomplished, or are in the midst of accomplishing, something powerful with your actions. But your inner turmoil speaks as clearly as your actions, even if only you can hear it.

There’s a funny thing about certainty: it rarely ever lasts. Certainty is a feeling which should be invincible by nature. Ironic how vulnerable it often leaves a person. But there are things which are possible only if one has faith enough to treat the unknowable as if it could be known. Or perhaps I too am captivated by a particular idea.

I didn’t stop to take a picture. I’m still seeing a beautiful sunset each day and I hope my fortune continues.